[he takes another breath after that's over, his other hand coming to join the first in covering his face for a long moment. the emotion, the sheer mass of that number, thirty seven thousand—
it takes him a moment to come back from it, to set the heartbreak and anguish, the grief from both memories aside. he still sounds near tears when he looks towards him.]
even if mikazuki is occasionally reckless with sharing the knowledge of what their missions entail - if only to see if they can be helped in any way, by anyone at all - he does not often share the details. the horrors of war. the blood that must be paid.
when he hears rupert's voice - he does not necessarily say anything.
he merely raises his arm, letting it settle around the young man's shoulders, and draws him closer for an embrace.]
[he pauses for a long moment, surprised, even he doesn't resist. still, after he processes what's happening - his shoulders draw together, tense, and that tension is echoed in his voice when he speaks.]
I hate this.
[what they've both had to live through, over and over.]
... we come from different Citadels. Homes. Our masters who summoned us are different, though the blades themselves are meant to be the same throughout history.
He knows another Mikazuki Munechika, just as I know another Tsurumaru Kuninaga.
But it is as I said.... there are some individuals who we are meant to be with.
Not - the kind of sorry where I did something wrong, just... It seems really hard. To witness something like that and never be able to do something about it.
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it takes him a moment to come back from it, to set the heartbreak and anguish, the grief from both memories aside. he still sounds near tears when he looks towards him.]
Mikazuki, I...
[he's so sorry.]
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even if mikazuki is occasionally reckless with sharing the knowledge of what their missions entail - if only to see if they can be helped in any way, by anyone at all - he does not often share the details. the horrors of war. the blood that must be paid.
when he hears rupert's voice - he does not necessarily say anything.
he merely raises his arm, letting it settle around the young man's shoulders, and draws him closer for an embrace.]
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I hate this.
[what they've both had to live through, over and over.]
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... it is cruel, and difficult.
You are strong, for continuing to walk forward... even then, I wish you did not have to experience such pain at all.
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You, too.
[he's seen so much more.]
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I will walk alongside you, for as long as I can. Until we are able to see our loved ones again.
[that is his promise.
but.]
... and you can shed your tears, and know they are only testament to the generosity of your heart.
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I don't know if... I don't know if I can. See them again, I mean. They're all gone.
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... you will.
At one point or another... you will. For there are people who we are meant to be with, even if it is not in this life.
And until then... carrying what pieces of them you have with you - that is how their memory lives on.
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Do you believe in that, then? An afterlife.
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I am only a spirit myself and so I offer no certainties... but I believe more in reunions than I do farewells.
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[and, as ever, he thinks there's nothing wrong with hoping. he seems to be calming down, at least enough to say:]
What I saw... Do you want to talk about it?
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... that is not the Tsurumaru Kuninaga you know.
[that just seems most important]
So I only hope you will not allow that to affect your understanding of him.
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They have the same name, but they're different?
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He knows another Mikazuki Munechika, just as I know another Tsurumaru Kuninaga.
But it is as I said.... there are some individuals who we are meant to be with.
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[but all the same...]
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
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What is it that you are apologizing for?
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.... it is the push and pull.
Of being told that history must be one way... and yet also believing that it may be able to shift into something different, if just given the chance.
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For that is not allowed.